Dirty Laundry
by CameronZinner
Summary: Casey comes home to find Derek...er...taking care of personal matters. Matters which lead to a whole lot more than either of them bargained for. Dasey one-shot. M for heavy sexual content and coarse language. Please review!


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Life with Derek or any of the characters. Duh!

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There's nothing Derek Venturi loves more than being home alone - reclined in his favorite chair, stark naked - with the DVD remote in one hand and his hard-on in the other. Of course, the dick needs to be in his right hand. He's tried to switch it up on several occasions but he's yet to master the art of aiming his load with his left.

It's a rainy summer's day in August and the humidity has Derek sweating like a football player's ass.

He's got his eyes fixed on Linzy Sparxxx's gargantuan tits flopping about on the TV screen. A little too stiff to be real, but he's not complaining. There's no arguing that "The Pussies of Madison County" is a classic. He's seen it sixty times since Ralph 'loaned' it to him (indefinitely), and even though he's memorized every single thrust and moan down to the tee, it never fails to deliver.

The volume goes up by ten bars and he tosses the remote back to the couch. One arm is folded behind his head while the other hand does all the work. Derek's got the rhythm down pat: jerk slowly, then speed things up while he's got his teeth clenched and toes curled, and then ease it out if he thinks he's going to explode. He takes a breather after three of these rounds, leans back and lets a warm hand trail across his bare chest.

He's right at the part where Linzy's being sandwiched from both ends by two sleazy-looking men with chests hairier than their beards when the front door flings wide open and Casey steps in.

_The jig is up_, Derek thinks. Or perhaps this is yet another situation he can turn right around. With a charming smile and an eight-inch dick, anything's possible.

"DER-_EK!_"

Her signature phrase, yelled a couple of times in every inflection you can imagine. She's got her hand covering her eyes, struggling to set down her duffel bag by the door without tripping on the carpet.

Derek's shocked, yes, but he's not phased at all. In fact, he's so close to ejaculating that he squeezes the pre-cum out of the tip of his dick and decides to proceed.

He doesn't realize how loud his porn is until it turns off. Who turns it off? Well, none other than Casey McDonald.

"Der-ek!"

"Had fun at dance practice?" Derek asks, sly, without loosing grip of his throbbing penis. He shakes it a little to make her uncomfortable and it unintentionally swings a thread of cum across the room.

"Don't you have _any _sense of decency?" Casey shoots back sounding breathless, and her eyes still covered. "This is a _family_ room for a reason. _Ugh_."

"Lighten up Case," Derek says, a little more than irked because his hard-on is losing blood fast. "Now turn the TV back on and let me finish-"

"In the _living room_? _Really _Derek_? _And you didn't even think of wearing clothes? Not even socks?" Casey says with eyes closed tight. "You're a pig."

"Yeah, yeah, we all have needs. Now go away."

"This is my house too, Derek," Casey says, standing right in front of him now.

"Okay, your point?"

"My point is that you need to respect the members of this household-"

"And how am I not doing that? I didn't hurt you, did I?" Derek retorts, letting go of his semi and putting both hands behind his head so his hairy pits can breathe.

"No," Casey replies quietly, eyes un-scrunching but still closed. "But your genitalia is on show like it's a museum exhibit and that's the last thing I need to see."

Derek scoffs. "Oh really, Case? So you've never seen a penis in your life? Ever?"

His eyes are fixed on Casey like she's prey, watching her fumble in those moments after he asks the question.

"Well," Casey begins, and then crosses her arms. "I have. In biology class."

"Oh please, Casey. So you're saying you've never fooled around with a guy?"

Casey puts her chin up high and pouts. "I never said that."

"What about the blowjob I saw you giving Truman in the backyard last week?"

"Der-_ek!_"

Derek smiles and stands up to stretch. Any attempts at starting his jerk-off session again have proved futile, especially with his step-sister standing right in front of him.

"Just stating the facts, Case."

"Well at least I'm decent about it. You don't see me masturbating in the living room."

"That'd be quite a show," Derek says almost to himself, a little too thrilled by the visualization of a naked Casey McDonald sitting on his chair with her legs splayed wide open. One hand on her wet pussy and the other gingerly rubbing a tit. Derek shivers. The thought is too much.

He glances down at his crotch and the boner has made it's comeback. If he doesn't get a release within the next hour, it'll be blue balls again.

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**A/N: **I literally put this together just now and couldn't wait to post it. Sorry for the cliffhanger, but let me know how you want things to turn out! I'm up for anything! :)


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